Sunday, February 08, 2015

I'm gonna start my post by saying, I don't know how to write a blog. Well, I do blog but its not like any other blogs out there that are informative or has a specific genre. My blog mainly consists of, me. I write to get things off of my mind or just to express how I feel. Its more like a therapy. Boring, huh? But who cares. :)

I'm writing this post because I'm happy of some things that are happening in my life at the moment. Some things because there are still moments that makes me sad. Its what makes us human after all. First off, that recent photo of me above (I'm not trying to be vain here lol) shows that I got my jaw back!! Hahaha. /kidding aside. I'm doing my best to slim down and yes, I did slim down but not drastically. I started December last year and I still have a long way to go. I'm just enjoying the process because I can really see the results. Its different with my diet back then because I only cut half of my portion in the plate and it still makes me really hungry at some point so it ended with me eating a lot and getting fat. So here is the breakdown of my new diet:

- 1 - 2 bread with cheese spread / spam / corned beef / scrambled egg
- or overnight oats (I only did maple banana oats and I'm still trying to improve in making this with other ingredients. You guys should try it because its fun!)

                  Maple banana oats:
                  - 2 cups of milk
                  - 1 cup oats
                  - 2 teaspoons brown sugar
                  - 1 tablespoon maple syrup
                  - 1 banana
                  - mix and refrigerate

- or avocado toast (I'm gonna make this one soon because its freaking hard to find avocados!)

- Green smoothie

                  My basic smoothie:
                   - 1 - 2 banana
                   - 1 mango or 1 pineapple
                   - 1 handful of spinach
                   - small amount of water (for easy blending)
                   - ice cubes
                   - blend

- I eat anything with no rice. I always go for white meat - chicken.
- or sweet potatoes
- I do a lot of cheat nights though. Hahaha.

- Sweet potatoes
- Skyflakes or other biscuits

- I'm not craving for rice anymore and I have smoothie to thank for that.
- When I'm out, I change rice with mashed potato.
- If I get really really hungry at home, I eat noodles.
- Drink lots of water. No soda.
- As much as possible, I stay away from alcoholic drinks.
- I told myself before that I won't drink coffee and just settle for green tea but damn, coffee is a hard habit to break. Sue me!
- I want to try and drink lemon water every morning before breakfast but lemons are quiet expensive and its found in supermarkets inside a mall so its not accessible to buy here in our place. Yea, its pretty lame excuse. Haha.
- My only exercise is walking. I'm too lazy to jog unlike before that's why I don't have abs yet! Hahaha. But some of my friends invite me to trek and I love trekking. :)

See? I have an easy diet. Green smoothies and no rice really helps. It pays off!

Second, I'm still that same ascetic girl when it comes to money. So yea, I still count my savings and expenses. Hahaha.

Third, I'm trying in vain to find a solution to get rid of my big dark eye bags. Huhu.

Fourth, I know I haven't been a good friend lately to some of my friends and fuck, I'm not even trying hard to make it up to them. Not to be dramatic but there's just some things that I need to do for myself and there's this emptiness I feel that even my friends can't fill it up. Fyi, I'm not depressed. Maybe I want some big changes to happen -- be it in a new environment or meet new people. There's a lot of things that I'm anxious about but I'm trying to be positive. I'll just surrender it all to you, Papa God. To my friends who keeps on complaining that I don't text or hangout with them anymore but still chooses to stay, thank you guys! I may not have a lot of friends and I can only count in my fingers the quantity of my friends but damn, they're true friends. I'm so blessed! :) By the way, congratulations to my friend Portia who is now engaged!!! Happy for both of you and Darryl. And Darryl, thank you for buying me the cards against humanity game cards. I asked for one but you bought me three sets and you didn't even asked for payment. LUCKY!!! :)

Fifth, I'm slowly conquering my fears. Last friday, my friend asked me to accompany her in meeting a foreigner since she was not feeling well. He's a businessman from Bahrain but born in South Africa, and who is friends with the King in Bahrain (how awesome is that! He's not even intimidating because he is so cool!) They hit it off immediately and they're one of the examples of "love at first sight". Hahaha. It was supposed to be about her but it was a big deal for me too. For someone who is so reserved and shy, I surprised myself by keeping an english conversation going for almost four hours. Wow! I didn't know I'm talkative and funny (hell yea, I can give witty comebacks!!). I have this fear of speaking in public or keeping a conversation with strangers or maybe I just don't have that much confidence with myself. And to add it all, I'm afraid that if I speak in english (which is not our native language by the way so its natural to be anxious or to be afraid), I might not pronounce the right words or just stutter; so the first hour, I stuttered a bit from nerves and kept some that I want to say to my mind but as time passed and we talked, I loosened my nerves and just let my mind and mouth carry me away. Maybe, it depends on who you talk to especially with people who are engaging and has a sense of humor. So I'm saying this again, Wow! It surprised me!! It made me happy. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face even after we said our goodbyes. It really feels good to conquer your fears! Maybe that is what I've been missing in my life -- challenging myself. I know its a small thing and I may sound silly to all of you (seriously, who in their right mind is afraid of talking to people? ME!) but it made me happy. How much more if its a big thing. Thank you for that, Papa God. :)

Sixth, I'm waiting and praying for something big. God is giving me a lot of signs lately so I'm just gonna cross my fingers and pray. Thank you, Papa God.

Seventh, deaths are all over the news especially about the Fallen 44. I pray for their souls and for their families that are left behind. Filipinos right now are mourning. I pray for peace. God bless everyone.

Eighth, love myself more.

Ninth, to be more closer to God.

I still have a lot to say and to thank for but I'll just leave it to my prayers and to my journal. Yes, I have a journal which I really make sure to write and to fill every page, that I even practiced calligraphy. Hahaha. So to end this post, I'm greeting y'all a happy love month!! *channeling a southern accent* lol

To all of the wonderful people out there, you are loved. <3

Advance happy birthday mom!!

Song: Treasure by Bruno Mars
My official favorite verse: Galatians 5: 22-23
           "Fruits of the Spirit.
          22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!"
Quote of the day:
"You don't realize how quickly everything can fall apart until it does. Makes you never want to give up anything good ever again." - What If (2014)

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“If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: We all want everything to be okay. We don't even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding. We will happily settle for okay, because most of the time, okay is enough.”
- David Levithan